Baby's First Snow

Nathan Hearts Cheryl

Being too lazy to come up with my own co-op board reference letters (recommending myself on behalf of my former "neighbors" Cece and Jamie), I googled "neighbor reference letter" and found there are many kinds of letters out there! This was by far the best one, though not necessarily a reference letter:

My Dear Cheryl,

Loving you is so easy.

There are so many reasons why I love you…

The little things you do, the simple gestures you make, the feelings and thoughts that you share with me. I adore the way you look, the way you move, and your infectious smile.

There are so many things to love about you!

Do you know I love it when you daydream and you think no one is watching?

Do you know I love the way your eyes sparkle when you tell a funny story?

Do you know that I love the shape of your ears?

Do you know I love to watch you sleep?

I could go on and on.

It's important to me that you know that I love you - and how much I love you.

So whatever it is that you are doing, thinking or saying, as you go about your day -- know that I am there with you, loving you.

Much Love,

Nathan

Now, I don't like to use this term loosely, but....

LMAO.

Nathan, I think you are a psychopath. Why are you watching Dear Cheryl sleep?  You say Cheryl is daydreaming with no one watching, but you clearly are! Oh yes, you're keeping quite the close eye on your easy-to-love GF. Wait, is she your GF? Reading this the second time, I can't even tell. I think Cheryl is just some pointy-eared girl you work with who you salivate over from a dark corner at company happy hours. You jealously watch her tossing her hair over her shoulder as she tells Ken from accounting a funny story about people you don't know (but yearn to), her eyes sparkling all over the place. Oh how you wish to be Ken at that moment, being infected with Cheryl's potent laugh. You console yourself with the knowledge that in a few hours, she will be snuggled up in bed, diligently setting her alarm for the gym in the morning, as you watch happily from her fire escape.

Why They Pay Me the Big Bucks

Look, I'm really busy so I don't have a lot of time to write today. Super preoccupied watching YouTube videos such as "Kitten Wearing a Tiny Hat", "Cats Playing Patty-Cake" and "Charlie Doing Kitten Things" (hee!). 

Other activities of the day:
-trying to come up with a clever response to email received at 10:57am
-talking to Cece for an hour
-refreshing personal email every three seconds 
-shopping at Union Square holiday market
-ordering group present for boss


Now I remember how I spent so much on Christmas last year -- it's so effing quiet at work I have nothing to do but shop. I wonder if J Crew has any cashmere-lined gloves... 

OMG, just remembered I bought a pair of red patent leather heels last year -- parfait for this year's various Christmas parties! Time to look for a matching lip gloss!!

Something Winona could never do...

This is the best article I've read in a while! 

The headline says it all: Oklahoma Women Accused of Smuggling Stolen Goods in Body Fat. My favorite part is "One of the women tried to smuggle three pairs of boots underneath her breasts." OMG. Is this a normal day in Oklahoma??

I love the girl on the left's expression. Is she trying not to laugh?

 

Ronaldina The Economist

Last week I went to Stina's bf John's place for a few Thanksgiving Eve drinks. We all wore sweatpants and drank way too much wine and smoked cigars (don't ask). At some point we all swore we were going to buy stock in gold so we could cruise around the world or something. This is probably not going to happen, but it brings me to my new theory. I believe there's a direct correlation between New York weather and the stock market. Yes, this is NY-centric of me, but just keep it in mind and observe. 

As I type, both the Dow and Nasdaq are down 24 points. Weather: 52 degrees, real feel 49, raining, windy, miserable in general. Coincidence? Probably. But if not, I could have discovered the next economic trend. Weathernomics! I'm going to monitor this, so stay tuned...

Wrinkle Release

While attending our 10 year high school reunion (and after several glasses of wine), Jamie and I discussed the need for Wrinkle Release on various parts of our bodies, as well as on her shirt. I guess the idea of wrinkles stayed with me because 6am on Sunday I found myself not only watching Cindy Crawford's Meaningful Beauty infomercial, but WHIPPING OUT MY CREDIT CARD to order it!!! Am I a sucker or what. Like I can't just smear a melon all over my face on my own.  Also, I love reading things like "Cindy Crawford admits to getting her face injected a lot" post-payment. We shall see how it goes.

BTW, this morning Charlie continued to sit primly on my yoga mat while I writhed around, but only gnawed on my hands and feet slightly. See, he's learning already. What a good little boy! 

Meow Pose

I went to bed at a v reasonable hour last night, excited to detox the weekend's indulging out of my system with some morning yoga and a healthy breakfast. Both proved much harder than I thought thanks to one stripey little guy. During yoga, Charlie chewed on my feet, batted at my hair and planted himself smack in the middle of the mat so that half my body was on the floor. When I attempted to cook breakfast, he continually scampered up on the table when my back was turned, mewed to be petted, and ran figure eights around my legs whenever I moved. At one point I was holding him in one arm and stirring oatmeal with the other. I could probably train him if I didn't follow up my "No!" by picking him up and smothering him with kisses. But he's just too freaking cute!!


On the subject of Sir Charles (as when am I not?), I almost had to miss my 10 year high school reunion on Friday when I noticed my little guy's eye was swollen. Luckily it went down (with much TLC from moi), and I was able to go have countless glasses of wine with my favorite MRHS girls. It was sooo fun and so good to catch up with everyone.  When I checked on Charlie the next morning, he was sleeping with his paw covering the swollen eye, which broke my heart as I thought it must've still been swollen. But he was totally fine and back to being his silly self, as you can see from this morning. Yippie! 

Psychic Friends Hotline

Yesterday, during our stroll around my soon-to-be neighborhood, Stina told me about her visit with a psychic. I have always been skeptical about these people, but this lady sounds legit. In addition to telling Stina the date and place her bf will propose, she told her she sees a lot of change for her "blonde friend with a V name", including new home and job. I signed on my apt this morning and as for the other... well, I don't want to jinx anything so we shall see. But can you believe this woman?! I'm dying to go see her. Who's in?

Side note

If I hear "it is a fashion emergency and it needs an evacuation" one more time, I'm going to scream. Sorry Iman, not gonna be watching your new show.

Cute Overload

Last night, Cara and Ciaran met Sir Charles for the first time, and I'm happy to report they are just as in love with him as everyone else is. They came armed with a home-made toy of foil and string made by Cece!!! What a loving auntie she is.  Anyway, they slept over and in the middle of the night I crept over to check on them and what do I see but the two of them curled in towards each other and my fuzzy little guy in the middle, soaking up the cuddles.  OMG. I couldn't take a picture for fear of waking them, but take my word for it, it was beyond adorable.

Today, the cuteness will continue when Catherine brings over her own little ones, Emily and Johnny, to visit with the little guy. Emily is excited to play with Charlie, and I am excited to nibble on baby Johnny's cheeks!  This wholesomeness will all be undone next weekend when Cat, Jamie and I go to the Borgata for a girl's weekend of "fun".

Me and Catherine on another weekend
of fun in our college days ...
 apparently we were studying denim.

Motherhood

Well, Charlie has been home a week today and I could not be happier. Mom and Dad are just as in love with him as I am - calling me at work with reports on his activities, food intake, current spot in my closet, etc.  It's taken me a while to write because every time I try, rttttttttttt\\][[[[[==[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ cvvvvvv[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]v cccccccbhhc
that happens (he just pranced across the keyboard).

He is the cutest, stripey-est, most playful little guy ever! He doesn't even mind me covering him in kisses and singing my special song to him several times a day ("I looove you, I loooove you, I love you love you loooove you!").  Right now he's wrapped around my leg, chewing on my pajama pants. Some of his little quirks include
-purring in a questioning tone (prrrr?)
-scampering so fast he goes sideways
-ducking down in my shoe so only his ears and eyes show
-standing up so tall and straight he looks like a meerkat
-winking when I speak to him

He is a joy. The first few days he was here he would hide under my bed if I wasn't in the room. Then I'd come in and call for him, and he'd answer with a "mew!" and come scampering out. MELT. Oh, I even had my first real crazy cat lady episode the other night when I realized I had no food for him. Sans bra and makeup, I jumped into the car, zoomed up to A&P, threw a bunch of cat food cans in my basket, and checked out. Form an orderly queue, gents.

Looking at his mommy with love.

Ronaldina's Kitty Committee

KT & Ben invited me over to their LES love nest for dinner on Friday. Being the top-notch hosts that they are, I left stuffed with delicious bread, cheese, pasta, desserts, champagne and sauv b (what else?).  I also logged in a ton of QT with their cat Billie Jean, The Prettiest Kitty in All of New York City. She is soooo sweet and was curled up on my lap for ages, her pretty white lady paws tucked underneath, purring away. Heaven! Good thing my own furry baby will be coming home in five days, or else I probably would've tried to steal her.


See how anxious he is to get here?

mew i'm cute!

Hotness

Using Betty Draper as my inspiration to stop eating everything in sight, I took my first Bikram yoga class tonight. It was pretty intense and I was absolutely soaked in sweat by the end. What started off as light grey stretchy capris were practically black by the end. EWWW.  But I must say, it was a nice experience all around. Melly and I got to sit out on the studio's cute outdoor patio and chat before class, and the instructor was friendly and gave great direction. At the end the instructor told me I did a "great job". I bet she says that to all the girls.

Oh JJ, you're so perfect it's not fair.

Señor Cute

Today is Columbus Day and my company is cruelly open for biz, unlike all my clients. My phone has rang exactly once thus far (OMG it rang just as I typed that... so twice), so I must amuse myself by staring at pictures of my furry bambino. Here he is curled up on my lap, napping. Look at those ears and stripes. Insanely cute.

I get to take him home in about two weeks. Hate to wait any longer but eeeee he is worth it! Went to Petco at lunch but had to flee because the sight of those kitties in cages just breaks my heart into a million pieces. Just donate the money and run!!

On another note, I helped a blind girl find the uptown 1 train this morning. She was so grateful it killed me, but it really felt rewarding to be able to do something for someone else, even though it was minuscule. Once half my life isn't spent commuting I am definitely going to volunteer and do something to contribute to society, rather than pretending to hold the elevator and letting it shut on people's confused and angry faces.

Come Hungry, Leave Obese

Stina and I went to IHOP in Larchmont today. Rather than split a short stack like civilized human beings, this is what we ate:

-4 pumpkin pancakes
-4 cinnamon pancakes
-1 spinach & mushroom omelet
-home fries
-1 never-ending pot of coffee (approx 4 cups each)

I think our waiter was kind of shocked/grossed out at our empty plates. We had to roll ourselves out of there. BUT I did manage to get my car washed, go shopping with Mimzy, and FINALLY ordered my pictures from last year's trip to Italy.

OK, time to watch the Kardashians in their non-stop quest to alienate Scott (aka Gordon Gekko), feel "guilty" about it, and scheme to make him feel welcome again but not really. I wonder if watching all this mindless reality tv is why I couldn't figure out what the f was going on in The Prestige.

Somewhere, NY

After consuming three very generous glasses of sauvingnon blanc with S & L at China Grill last night, I dragged my tired and slightly hungover self around Hoboken, NJ today. The broker showed me and my darling mother seven apartments, three of which I liked but one of which was a short sale aka hot mess that banks don't want to touch.

It was a gorgeous day, sunny and in the 70s. Post apartment viewing, Mimzy and I had a delish outdoor brunch at Elysian Cafe. We saw the ridiculous line to get into Carlo's and even saw their delivery truck behind us on the Lincoln Tunnel. Delivering a Cake Boss cake perhaps?

All in all, I don't think Hobo is for me. Once I heard something about getting NJ license plates, I balked. Bonnie Blue is allergic to any plates that don't include The Empire State. And I know it's close to Manhattan and all, but I'm pretty sure N and Y are the only two letters I want after my address on my as-yet-to-be-ordered personalized stationery. So it's off to explore the sweet little towns of Westchester I go!

Regret

A few days ago, I indulged in a giant $4 piece of German chocolate cake from Irving Farm.  It only took me walking the perimeter of Gramercy Park to finish it, and it wasn't even that good. Ugh. But, I did learn an important lesson: pay attention to labels.  Had I known it was GCC and not GCB (brownie) I would never have gotten it. Well, maybe I would.

Anyway, this leads me to my main concern: I'm worried my new tres chic winter coat:

Pictured: not me

might be unbearably itchy.  Now, had I READ THE LABEL, I would have realized it was 100% wool!  But no, I was caught up in the buttons, belt, cut, etc.  I do love the way it looks, but if I wear a dress or skirt with tights (which I almost always do in cold weather),  my legs get sooo itchy.  The tags are off, so I have no choice but to keep it and scratch my way through the winter. Or wear pants.

This may not be such a problem when I don't have such a heinously long commute, which hopefully will be soon as I am going to look at apartments tomorrow. Yippie!

Anticipation

Of course my first post has to be about my kitten. It's all part of my transformation into the Crazy Cat Lady my mother is sure I am becoming. "Why don't you get a dog instead? You'll have to walk it and maybe meet a nice young man along the way!" Anyway, I'm getting a kitten and here he is -- Charlie!!

I make the same exact face when I wake up!

This was taken last weekend on my first visit with the little guy. He is that tiny! Too tiny, in fact, to leave his mommy right now, so I have to wait a few weeks to bring him home. In the meantime, I will stare at his picture and miss him a lot!!

Well, I must go watch this asshole try to rock a sari, and fail miserably.